Wednesday, August 13, 2014

take some responsibility.

I tried & tried to write a post about my feelings of the riots, looting, & demonstrations in Ferguson this week. I've written whole posts & then deleted them.

I've read so many articles & have watched the news practically nonstop just to try to get details & learn what actually happened.

I've come to the conclusion no 2 stories or recounts are going to be the same. Everyone inserts their own opinion & made up facts into their writings & reports. And it seems that the truth will never come out.

I've heard what the witnesses say & what the police say. They are completely opposing stories. I don't really want to get into what I believe to be true, mostly because I don't know what to think. It's still unfathomable to me. That's what I struggled writing about. Even if I "knew" what happened & it would not be what she to my right or he to my left knows. Even if we all had all the facts, chances are we still wouldn't all be able to recount the events the same. They would have our own words & thoughts: therefore, they would all be different stories. Essentially the same fact base, but with little extras thrown in, making the stories totally different. Like the game of telephone. The word starts as egg & by the end of the line it turns into book. 

I think that everyone; no matter your color, religion, gender, sexual orientation, whatever, needs to learn to take responsibility for their actions. And that we all need to stop blaming each other. It's not worth the violence that ensues.

People are so quick to place blame & start fighting, or in this case, rioting, looting, & setting fires, that the family cannot even have proper time or silence to mourn. All they are hearing & seeing is news of "we're doing this for Mike." or "we're not going to take this police brutality." They aren't seeing any positive support for their son & family. All they are seeing is an outpouring of negative words, actions, & violence.

It's disrespectful to the deceased & his family.

I don't really have a whole lot more to say on the subject. I just wish that if the media is going to "educate" they wouldn't do so one sideded. **cough** **cough** jezebel **cough** **cough** excuse me. I just had a coughing fit. 

Thursday, July 31, 2014

the road to self-acceptance


In lieu of working right now I'm blogging, obviously. The sunshine, despite the shades, is coming in my window at an awkward angle & making for extremely horrid color corrections. Next best thing, blog!

As I was doing my daily browsing & interweb hopping I came across THIS post by Rosie over at The Londoner. She talks about The Anti-Diet & I absolutely love the idea of it. Living life, loving your body, & filling it with things that are good for you instead of crap. She's a smart girl. 

She talks about living by an 80/20 rule. Being "good", eating healthy & for sustainability 80% of the time. And 20% of the time you can treat yourself to let's say, a corn dog & lemon shake up! ;)

The last week or so I have started concentrating on eating healthier & not filling my body with processed crap. And wouldn't ya know it, I'm starting to feel much better & have a lot more energy.

This week we've also amped out workouts. And by amped our workouts, I do mean put them into hyperactive fat-blasting mode. We're training to be super heroes, obviously. And it's been amazingly satisfying, even if I feel like I'm dying. It's in a good way!!

I'm really happy I found that post today because I struggle with the whole negative body image thing. Getting called fat everyday of 8th grade probably would be the root of this. HINT: I wasn't fat. ANOTHER HINT: at 23 the BULLIED has come a whole hell of a lot further than the BULLIES have come. Also, I have never told anyone in my adult life that. Noone. Not even The Cap'n. Unless I accidentally let it slip during one of our many best friend wine nights. That's something I kind of keep to myself. Welcome to my secret, internet. 

I'm pretty good at acting like I like my body to most people. VERY FEW only one person actually knows how I really feel about myself. AGAIN, welcome to my secret, internet. 

I'm really excited to start this whole anti-diet lifestyle. Living healthy & for me. Learning to love my body & hopefully losing weight & getting stronger along the way! 

She does talk about giving up coffee & diet coke. Those are two things I just cannot do. I don't drink a diet coke every single day. But I do have probably 3-5 a week. And I have multiple cups of coffee a day. I need the caffeine. It's crucial to my & everyone around me('s?) well being. 

Here's to the journey.

ALSO, I'D LIKE TO NOTE: I don't know about you all but I for one cannot believe that today is the last day of July. Is this real life? Summer hasn't even started & it's already over. AMIRITE??

Any tips for self-acceptance? Do you struggle with this too? Let's help each other!!

kisses & caffeine <3

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

confessions of a not so eventful life

IT'S WEDNESDAY & TODAY'S POST NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION. It's time for confessions with Kathy!
Vodka and Soda

I WASH MY CAR MORE THAN I CHAGNE MY SHEETS. In my defense: most nights I shower right (eh like 3 hours) before I crawl into bed. So It's fine to only change them like every… so often. But my car?? That girl gets washed once a week on Monday or Tuesday. It's a habit I picked up right when I got my first car. My dad yells less when I have a clean car. He would tell you I don't wash it that often. Truth is he just doesn't always notice.

I'VE SWORN OFF MAN(child).  I also swore off ever mentioning said man(child) here again. I did this in my head. I didn't put it in writing - so here it is. Not worthy of me or my time. This might sound a little high-horsey & I'm too good. But it's not high-horsey. However, it is - I'm too good (for him anyways.) 

LATELY MY DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DAY IS not putting on real pants. If I can go a whole day with only wearing yoga pants, norts(nike shorts - if you've been living under a rock), or full on baggy sweatpants it has been quite a successful day. As ready & excited as I am to move into my studio I sure will miss my days without pants.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE REALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO MY DIET.  However, something about having made this commitment has turned a switch inside me that yells EAT ALL OF THE FOODS. I have done very well for the most part the past couple days except tonight I fell to the cries of ice-cream from my freezer. I'm not even typically one to eat ice-cream from the freezer. I'd much rather go somewhere to get a treat.

I'M GOING TO THE OZARKS THIS WEEKEND with some friends from college. And I won't lie, what appealed to me the most is that I don't have to be around anyone from home for 2 whole days. (this feeling excludes a few, you know who you are) But I'm really happy that I don't have to be in town or with anyone from town.

AS FAR A CONFESSIONS GO these are far from salacious. But when you lead a life as uneventful as mine as of late you learn to take what you can get.

What are your deepest & darkest of the week? ;)
have a good one, y'all.
peace, love, & coffee

Friday, July 25, 2014

Friday: who ya gonna call?

It's Friday. To photographers aka not the weekend! But that's okay because I don't mind weddings. Here we go with favorites. This is my first Friday post in months! Leggo!

Let's start with my current FAVORITE JAM:
Follow Your Arrow by Kacey Musgraves on Grooveshark



Anything that is chocolate I can get my little paws on


  - faith in humanity: temporarily restored
  - seriously when I was reading the Netflix one I was like yes. yes. YES!! Netflix is my most fulfilling relationship these days. This is probably a big ol' red flag. but guess what! #bighairdontcare I also really enjoyed the extremely fantastic use of 80s movies. I wish my life was like an 80s movie. Jake Ryan, where are you? Why can't you really exist?!


Not on a WB series I don't, Leo!

I hope y'all have had a fantastical week & a great upcoming weekend!

coffee & cupcakes

Thursday, July 24, 2014

you there, with the 8 legs

It's Friday Eve!! We've made it. And I blogged every day thus far! WHOA!! 

I have this debilitating fear of spiders. It's serious. I sometimes have these awful, extremely real feeling dreams about spiders crawling on me in my bed. Sometimes I can move, sometimes I can't. Also, sometimes I remember them other times, like when it first started happening, my mom would find me curled up in a ball in the hallway screaming about the "giant spider in my bed." Scary. Mind you I was like 18, this isn't some childhood thing. I was a senior in high school. I guess she just put me back to bed because I had no clue it had happened when I woke up. 

With this information, it should come as no surprise that I make my dad spray the house down with this really really concentrated industrial strength bug killer more often than what is probably necessary. And now that I have my own place I've made him spray it twice so far, typically it's a bi-yearly thing, I think. I've been in there for like 6 weeks (not full time yet, seeing as I'm still sans toilet.)

On Monday night he and I were at the studio finishing up putting the faceplates on the outlets & things when I spotted the biggest of spiders I have ever seen (that's a stretch, but still. It was quite large) I probably could have hopped on the little heffer's back and ridden her. Dad killed it along with all the little evil devil's spawn that scurried from it's corpse. Stated: "I guess I need to spray again." Yeah, Dad. That'd be great. My ass isn't coming back until that happens.

Tuesday night he sprayed. A lot. A lot. A lot. He came back in from getting the outside & said "Spiders are hard to kill. You get roaches & other bugs who walk through it and then put their hands in their mouths *motions with his hand to his mouth like nom nom nom* and they're done. But spiders, their little feet and mouths are so tiny it's hard to get to them. You really have to spray a lot down." 

I was cracking up. It was the funniest thing. I mean, you might have to know my dad, but picture this tall man who is pretty stoic (not all the time, but most the time) motioning to his mouth with his hands a la cookie monster om nom nom. 

Now, I'm going to go off & have horrible dreams because I have relived this traumatizing event from Monday. But I had to share the visual of Dad.

I hope you all have a beautiful day & a great weekend! 

kisses & peaches

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

confesssions: I'm just not that into you

Hump Day Confessions. My favorite day. I really really like these posts, mostly because reading everyone else's makes me feel not so bad! Thanks, y'all! ;)

To start off here's a fun one: this guy has been on me wanting to go out again…..

A. wasn't so awesome the first time
B. "I've just been really busy lately." - false. kind of. I have been really busy, but not so busy as to not be able to go out for a minute every Thursday night. And you know, hang out with other people. 

On to the next one

You know those Maytag commercials where the Maytag guy is pretending to be the appliances? They crack my shit up. Every single time. I'm a marketing director's dream. 

I hate laundry. a lot. Not the actual sorting or placing in the wash but the hanging up, folding, & putting away process. But turns out, doing laundry every 2-3 weeks results in much more hanging, folding, & putting away. Who woulda thunk that?

Most weeks I end up wearing at least one pair of running tights 2 days (sometimes in a row, sometimes not) without washing. GROSS! I used to be on this great Thursday wash my gym clothes schedule - but that fails most the time. hashtag: no shame

I finished writing this at a bar. On my computer. Yes, I took my computer to the bar.

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